Monday, January 23, 2006

Family

Well, Aaron and I are back from the funeral. It really was interesting to watch his family pull together - his grandmother, aunts and mother are some pretty amazing women. It was a very family oriented weekend, only the family was told about the funeral, and we all mostly stuck together the whole time we were there. Everyone is doing 'OK' - including Aaron - and I thank you all for your kind words.

Of course, everything can't be perfect when the whole family gets together. Aaron's younger brother and cousin thought it was funny to get Aaron's youngest cousin (who is about 10, and actually had the smarts to refuse) to go ask Aaron 'when the twins were due' (all this in front of about 20 people). Admittedly, Aaron has a bit of a belly (hey, so do I!) - but why, especially after burying his grandfather, do people need to be so cruel? Is it because they are skinny and don't understand that it is hurtful? Shouldn't family be a supportive network, and not a place where you feel self conscious? The worst part is, the cousin didn't get the message, and kept it up the next day. Aaron is still seething, and I tend to agree with him. The cousin actually called yesterday to apologize (and knowing this guy - I'm pretty sure it wasn't his idea) and Aaron honestly told him that he wasn't ready to accept it.

Good for him. Why are we so nice to strangers and so hurtful to family?

Of course, this whole thing got us talking about where we are failing in our efforts to be healthy, and talked about ways to help each other do better - which is a good thing they came from a crappy situation, I guess.

In other news, I went to the Cafe Press Shop and bought some items to support the ridiculous action to copyright Stitch and Bitch. I can't even believe they are trying it:

Screw you, Sew Fast, So Easy.

5 comments:

said...

Ugh - I'm so sorry about the insensitive family members. There's no sense trying to make sense of that behavior - it's without sensible thought in the first place. Luckily, Aaron has you in his corner and both of you know what really matters in life - and you each got it ;)
-Sara

said...

Healthy is fine and it's great if you both want to work towards it.

Catty comments about anyone's appearance is just tacky and rude. My brother once asked my husband how he could "stand" my being a large woman. John's response was that I wasn't large enough. It was a few years ago and my brother is still baffled. He also didn't get the subtly message there, not too surprising that.

I am so sorry for your husband's loss and sorry anyone felt it was the place (not that there ever is one) to be so stupid.

said...

Fuck em. You both seem to be extremely nice and I must say extremely happy people, I think we all have some kind of fault with ourselves, but who the hell are others to rudely comment and to top it off to comment at a funeral and especially of someone close to you both.

Just keep on being you.

said...

Some people make themselves feel better by demeaning others. When others are cruel - I always ask myself, what is this person covering, lacking or making up for in their own life?

And depending on my affection for him/her - I either forgive and forget or I let em' have a piece of my mind. One way or another - I feel better in the end.

Aaron - don't even worry about it. You are loved (to quote from Bridget Jones) just as you are.

:)

said...

I think so many times people take family for granted, and just figure they can joke about whatever they want. With family the jokes hurt even more because we should be simply accepted by our family.

Oh by the way I love the bobbled shrug, so cute.